Homework Strategies for Parents of Teenagers with ADHD

Are you a parent of a teenage child with ADHD who frequently skips their homework? Help them prepare in advance and avoid overwhelm. Rewards will surely follow. As a bonus, students who address executive function skills in middle and high school are much better equipped at college. It serves as pre-training for when they left to their own devices and are expected to manage their own affairs. 

This post is based on a lecture entitled Homework Solutions for your middle or high school student by the National Resource Centre on ADHD. They prize science-based information.

Are you a mom or dad, who says things like “I’m worried he won’t be able to keep up.”?  Does your child offer reassurances by saying “Don’t worry, Dad, I’ve got this!” Or maybe they push back by telling you to “Stop micromanaging me.” Conversations with their tutors often reveal their grammar is poor and they are making only  minimal progress in math. 

Executive functions are the skills we use to ‘get stuff done.’ They include things like initiation, working memory, planning and organisation, self-monitoring and emotional control. Students who have ADHD will definitely have some weaker executive function skills. These are the root cause of their difficulties. Even students who are not diagnosed with any learning difficulties will have challenges, albeit of varying degrees, around some executive function skills. Anyone can benefit from improving their executive function skills.

Without help, affected students enter into a negativity cycle: poor grades cause negative thoughts and lead to reduced effort. Reduced effort loops back to poor grades and round we go again. The purpose of this lecture is to avoid the negativity cycle and break the pattern.

Strategies that Parents can support to tackle ADHD-related obstacles

There are six recommendations. Getting started is the first hurdle, so we make it easy by building structure and routine into daily life. Identify the tiniest task a student is willing to commit to. The routine serves as a map, avoiding the scenario where they ask themselves 20 unnecessary questions, only to wind up talking themselves out of studying altogether. 

1. Determine a place of study

Setting up a place for study is vital. Set up an area the brain can come to  associate with study. That area can be in the child’s bedroom, but not in bed! They need a desk and chair so their back is straight and their feet are on the ground. Kids with ADHD often do better in busy places like kitchens or dining rooms. In that case noise-cancellation headphones would be recommended.

2. As a parent, help your teenager choose a start time

ADHD students are often late going to bed, so getting up early is unlikely. You can help by prompting with a few suggestions about what their preferred time for homework could be. Maybe right after school, or after a 30 minute break for a snack and shower. Or perhaps they would prefer straight after practice, even beforehand. Before dinner, or after dinner, before bed or after bed. Even ‘on the bus’, although I think that is pushing it a bit. Remember, they just have to make a start. That’s it.  

3. Use the weekend wisely - parents of teenagers with ADHD!

Sunday sessions are particularly helpful for ADHD students. They typically don’t think ahead and so a routine family pow-wow, can provide a non-judgemental setting where you each support one another. You can suggest “Let’s talk about the week ahead.” Lead by example. Tell them what your week looks like. Ask “What do you have coming up and when?” “Are there any big projects coming up that might take more than a night or two to do?” 

Now is a great time to suggest “Shall we open Schoology or Canvas (or whatever learning management system your school uses, ManageBac is another). Even if all they do is take a look at it and notice upcoming assignments it is a win. They will have created a memory of what lies ahead in the short-term.

We want students to be like detectives and ask themselves lots of questions around what works best for them. By making their own choices they are more invested and hopefully engaged in the process. You can take off the mantle of brain-bashing bully. Step into your new role of loving supporter and greatest cheerleader.

The remaining recommendations concern procrastination. You might think that your child knows how to do something and just does not want to. However, research shows procrastination is often a consequence of feeling overwhelmed or underprepared. Perfectionism and anxiety also lead to procrastination. 

4. Strategies to help teenagers sustain focus

Assuming your child actually got started, the next goal is to keep going. Set a physical timer for five or 10 minute periods. Rinse and repeat. Use the Pomodoro technique during longer sessions. That is, 25 minutes of study, followed by five minutes of non-study. Checking social media is not an ‘allowed’ activity during the rest period. Choose something that allows the brain to unwind a little.

5. Use apps

Some apps and Chrome extensions block distractions. Stay Focused is an example. Google ‘productivity apps’ for more ideas. Forest is an app which rewards students with a picture of a tree for every block of 30 minutes they don’t use social media. If they give in to temptation the tree dies! 

6. Tackle Perfectionism

ave them categorise their assignments into “must do, should do, could do”. This task is especially helpful for those who have combined ADHD and anxiety. On completion of this task they will have a cooler mind and be more able to focus on them one by one. Prioritising works wonders for ploughing through a To Do list.

Some people use the 4 Ds: 

Due - when is it due

Down - write it down. If you need some mini-due-dates do it.

Decide - what could get in your way. Troubleshoot. 

Done - get it done. Start the hardest ones and make a start on them with your coach.

What you can do at home to combat ADHD-related probs?

Be mindful of the way you interact with eachother

Choose one tip to get started. Some students are open and some are not. Take care not to come over as challenging or judgemental. “I just wanted to pick your brain.” “Do you like this idea?” are more gentle probes. Most will listen more to someone who is not their parent! That is frustrating for parents.

Remain calm. Don’t try to discuss a stressful situation in the heat of the moment. You could ask “Can we talk later tonight, say after dinner?” Or maybe you could say “I’ve noticed that …” Be a good listener. Empathise. Instead of asking ”Do you have homework?” rather ask  ”What’s the one thing you need to do this evening?” 

The way we ask questions is a game changer. If you typically ask “Did you study for your science test?” you could ask “What’s the first thing you can do to get started?” Avoid statements like “You better get on with …”    

Have you heard of the readiness rating scale? Some students love it. They rate the perceived levels of difficulty of upcoming tasks from zero to 10. After, they rate their levels of motivation from 0 to 10 also. Ideally, the score will be 5 or more. 

When motivation is low the brain is likely in FFF mode (fight, flight or freeze mode). You can try to help them put more words around this by caringly asking “Tell me about that.”. In general “Why?” is not a good question for young people. It leads to disengagement, especially in boys. That is because it requires too much critical thinking and honesty. 

Instead, you could ask “How easy is this assignment?” or “How motivated are you to do this assignment?” 

You will know by now, that every person is an individual and what works for one does not work for another. That is part of the reason it is important to help people come up with choices and give them freedom to choose. They will be more invested. Expect glitches and stay positive.

Encourage self-advocacy skills.

In particular, good communication with their teacher makes a huge difference. You can use a template and have them email their teacher whenever they need help. By emailing the night before there is more chance of them meeting at school the next day. Also the teacher will see the student as being more invested in improving.

Students with executive function skills problems benefit from coaching around organisation and time management. Whilst we can’t change our capacity for working memory or slower processing speed we can learn techniques to work around them. If you are interested in learning more I strongly recommend you to contact me for more information.