My Teenager Hates Math: Help!

I am guessing you have already tried a few suggestions and that you haven't seen much progress. Nothing has really clicked. That is because most advice only deals with practicalities, and ignores the fact that your child is really having an emotional reaction to the subject.

Almost certainly they are missing some key information and their stress levels will be especially high if they feel alone in this. For example if their peers appear to be managing just fine.

Did you know that some of the students who hate math have a fight or flight reaction to even simple problems. That is the same as if they had been threatened by a stranger. No wonder they switch off. The way forward then is to desensitise them and reset their reactions to math. This is not going to be a quick fix because your child has probably already convinced themselves they can't do math - and they don't like it anyway and ... ... They have all bases covered.

It is not hard to see why they are so down on themselves either. They are well aware that it has taken a very long time for them to become this far behind in math. They know what they don't know and can't imagine how they will be able to recover at any speed, especially when you tell them you will need to take them back to their times tables and arithmetic. Yikes! For them the future looks bleak.

We know different. It can be done. We must convince them that changes they are being asked to make will result in progress. More importantly, we seek to show them the consequences of doing nothing are worse. Ultimately it is their decision whether they want to accept help or stay as they are. If they accept the challenge it will be a bit of a roller-coaster ride but will never be boring!

Miracles do happen. All depends on how quickly their emotional blocks can be removed. Freed from all of that 'stuff', progress can be fast and furious. Even slow and steady, is good though. Once they see improvement themselves they will want to continue. It is all to play for.

What is the Point of Learning Math?

Expect to be asked this. Regarding their long-term future they will surely tell you it will not contain any math. However, the chances of them changing their mind is relatively high, so they need to keep their options open.

Also, many seemingly nonmathematical professions, such as psychology and computer science, place heavy demands on math. Computer scientists are often required to think in abstract terms and social scientists depend on advanced statistical analysis to interpret their research results.

Children with aspirations of becoming a business owner may be surprised to learn that even they will not escape. The most common misconception they have is to assume they will be able to delegate 'all things math' to their employees.

Students don't realise the amount of effort put in by their teachers to carefully map out which topics will to be taught, in which order, andeven in which years/grades. Teaching math is organised in this way because new knowledge must be built on existing knowledge for any meaningful learning to take place. If students are made privy to this, it gives them a lift. They find it easier to believe that fixing one instance of wrong-thinking they had 'way back when' has the potential to correct multiple instances of current wrong thinking. They suddenly understand what compounding is!

If you can show you have a deeper understanding of their situation than they do, and you are fully convinced they will improve, you will gain their trust and cooperation. If in addition, they detect you have more patience with them than they have with themselves, all the better.

Students learn well from stories and one that often strikes a chord is that of a plumber who fixes a leaky valve. The point is, as soon as the leak is fixed the water tank fills with water, regardless of how long the valve had been dripping prior to the repair. The tank becomes fully functional and never looks back.

In fact, when students begin to hate maths only in middle school it is usually because they have not transitioned well from arithmetic to algebra. Taking time to help them understand the connection between arithmetic and algebra (because they surely don't get it at the moment) will offer them hope.

Can we do this together?

Real learning takes place when children understand what they are doing and become confident enough to take a few 'legal' shortcuts. We don't want them to reinvent the wheel every time. Sending them off with a pile of work to do alone, when they are insufficiently motivated can undo all of the good that is done by working together. Choose carefully when you set self-study exercises.

When students are trying to learn the basics, and they have seen pretty much all of it before, it can be a bit boring for them. If you take the time to sit with them and do it together it can make all the difference. Never mind if you are not good at mental math yourself.

Now is a good time to learn. I have taught countless adults over the years, and without exception, they all said they found math as a adult a piece of cake. With good advice, both of you can become experts together. You simply need a good support.

Be in a cheerful frame of mind while you work so they feed off your vibes. Help them memorise the facts and shortcuts and aim for rapid responses. Get them to ask you questions for a change. It can be fun, but whether it is or it isn't it has to be done. A word of advice, don't compromise on accuracy for the sake of speed.

I will be putting together a pack to help with this process, but for now I recommend you look up Year 6/ Grade 5 maths.

What are the basics?

They are the foundations of all other math and as such are non-negotiable. I have written about this in my post entitled 7 top tips: how to help your child in a maths crisis.

The list is ordered and begins with knowing the times tables forwards and backwards. Next I recommend you work on doubling and halving, and then move on to recognising prime numbers. This is natural precursor to understanding how to use factors and multiples. The arithmetic of negative numbers is also a topic that must be mastered fully if any real progress is to be made.

What is Cognitive Overload?

Cognitive overload occurs when our brain is overloaded with information and consequently ceases to function. People who hate math can relate to this because it happens when we don't have enough information in our long-term memory.

We can reduce the chances of this happening by taking a few simple measures. Our long-term memory can apparently hold limitless amounts of information and is where we store existing knowledge. Our working memory, on the other hand can only hold a limited amount of information. It fills pretty fast and when it is full our brain ceases to be able to function. That is cognitive overload.

The more we store in long term memory the freer our working memory is to solve problems for us. It explains why students who do not know the basics suffer so.

Other things can cause us to have cognitive overload too. For example, when we are shown a slide with writing on it and the speaker is talking at the same time. Taking in information by both reading text and listening to the spoken word is overwhelming. Conversely, we can handle viewng a slide that contains only pictures and listening to the speaker at the same time. This is noteworthy here because you can be mindful of these things when you are teaching your child.

Another point worth making here is the distinction between how novices, or beginners, learn in comparison to experts. Novices learn best by studying worked examples, whereas experts learn best by problem solving. You can read much more about this article in the Headteacher magazine.

Some Games Have No Value

News is beginning to circulate that focusing too much on fun in lessons is counterproductive. Fact: the child often is so distracted by the fun aspect they miss the mathematical message. Often, learning the rules of a game require so much focus the child has no space left for mathematical content. This is well documented.

In a one to one situation where you are and your child are fully focused on each other pen and paper works just fine. Pen and paper means the story you are telling unfolds at a steady pace and in the correct order. It gives the student time to reflect and to ask questions and to join the dots.

Don't waste your time and energy looking for fun, fun, fun. You are sending a message that only things that are fun are worthwhile and besides the search is exhausting. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.

That said, there are some excellent resources out there. Just be selective about which math games you choose for your child. Theses social-emotional learning games from Harvard University are enlightening. They are designed to help students improve academic performance and behaviour in a school setting but would work equally well at home.

Learn the Kind of Problems Students get Wrong

Most children can answer a question like this. “Billy had 24 dental sticks and shared them out between 6 friends. He does not take any for himself. How many dental sticks did each dog receive?” They will be stumped though if you ask this related question instead. “Billy had 24 dental stick and he decided to give all of his friends 4 sticks each. How many friends does he have?” The difference is very subtle, and yet students frequently draw a blank when they set to work.

Another set of scenarios they find challenging are those involving rates of change. Many children don’t have any experience. Yes, they may take the apples to be weighed at the supermarket, but they have no understanding of the numbers on the price ticket. They are familiar with the words 'grams' and 'kilograms' and accept that the price is '$1.50 per kg' but they aren't able to process these ideas in any meaningful way.

This would be a great opportunity for them to learn from you that 1kg is the same as 1000g and that 0.34 kg 340 g say, They would just accept that as a fact because it is an everyday situation and they are accepting of information from you. If not, when they meet it in a textbook it becomes alien to them.

They can't remember that kilo means 1000 and milli means 1/1000 for more than a few weeks because they view it as another piece of useless information. A fact that is only to be recalled in math. Studying the weighing scales with you, and making sense of all the surplus zeros, help with topics in class such as rounding and estimating.

Actually all rates of change problems are not well received in a classroom setting and yet it is so much a part of all our lives. Students are used to hearing phrases such as kilometres per hour so they aren't triggered by them, and yet they don't have any idea how to work with them in an investigative manner.

I find it helpful for students to keep a little vocabulary book, as they would in a foreign language class. In it they should write in full sentences, explaining the shorthand we so often come across in math. For example, 10 dollars/kg means 10 dollars per kilogram, which means that 1 kilogram of lychees will cost 10 dollars.

Show Different Ways of Asking the Same Question

Sounds simple enough, but you will be surprised how confusing it can be to a student. Here is a sample list.

• “Is 16 in the two times table?”

• “Is 16 a multiple of two”

• “Is there a remainder when we divide 16 by 2”

• “If we halve 16 will we get a whole number as an answer”

• “Is 16 divisible by two”

• “Can we divide 16 by 2?”

• “Does 2 go into 16?”

I often get students to ask me a question instead. That can be interesting.

Practice Different Problem-Solving Skills

Once students have mastered basic arithmetic it is important to spend time going over problems together. It would be confusing to try to learn the arithmetic and to decode problems all at the same time. There are many different techniques to choose from and each has its place. Generally, this is tackled in Year 8/ Grade 7 in case you are looking for more detail.

Some are obvious such as making a list, or eliminating obviously incorrect answers, or acting it out. For someone who has spent a long time guessing answers, they may find it amusing that guess and check is a legitimate technique in problem-solving.

Looking for number patterns and working backwards is more challenging for some, but definitely has its place. One of the tricks I find most useful is that of changing the numbers to create a much easier question to use as a model. It is something students are reluctant to do, and yet they are easily able to take the hint whenever I do it for them.

In Summary

Although this situation needs tackling with a degree of urgency it is better to take it as a long-term project. Expect steady improvement rather than overnight success. I recommend you go back and count how many times I used the word explain in this post. Communication is key. Rooting for you!

Many teachers use Graphical Organiser Charts to help students record the preferred process for solving different types of problems. They give a child space to write down their thought processes and analyse them. Very soon I will be posting a set of Graphic Organiser Charts for Math which are printable and you will be able to download them free of charge.

We have not addressed the disability called dyscalculia. If you think your child may be affected by this, you can read more here: dyscalculia .

You may also be interested to learn more about the fight or flight reaction I mentioned earlier on. I suggest you read this article by Dr Shankur, a professor of philosophy and psychology . It is called “Why does my child hate math?” and goes into the psychology of the situation rather than offering solutions.